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top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]ShartyPants 320 points321 points ago

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WHERE IS THE REST?

[–]dont_blink_angels 266 points267 points ago

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[–]munge_me_not 64 points65 points ago

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I liked when Santa threw the cocaine up in the air. Best video ever.

[–]skenyon1811 204 points205 points ago

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My eyes started to sweat

[–]AAlexanderK 64 points65 points ago

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Damn these Man-eye-sweat-tears.

[–]emiliodelgado 81 points82 points ago

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man, that one baby almost ruined the surprise he started crying before it happened

[–]PeopleAreStaring 32 points33 points ago

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You mean... HE KNOWS THE FUTURE?

[–]SilynJaguar 22 points23 points ago

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Here come the manly tears... ;_;

[–]Albaek 21 points22 points ago

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I assure you these are not tears.

[–]civildisobedient 2 points3 points ago

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YOU ROCK, SANTA!

[–][deleted] 123 points124 points ago

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That kid is gonna believe in Santa until the day he dies.

[–]ephemera505 135 points136 points ago

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Santa's going to die? Nooooo

[–]32koala 13 points14 points ago

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Ah, the old Reddit switchNO! NO THIS IS NOT HAPPENING AGAIN!

[–]dsstuart 19 points20 points ago

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ah, the old reddit Switch-a-roo

[–]AnonUhNon 33 points34 points ago

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Fucking seriously.

[–]FoxifiedNutjob 43 points44 points ago

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I PAINTED A SCHOOL IN IRAQ TODAY

No ones going to use it because the country is in the throes of ethnic cleansing, half the kids are dead and the police have been infiltrated with Shite death squads.

But Its a nice pink color anyway

[–][deleted] 19 points20 points ago

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I actually spent a few months in downtown Baghdad in the summer of '03, we'd build desks and shit, try and fix the lights etc. in schools. This is kinda what it felt like. Drive past a couple hundred skinny kids pointing at their mouths to a marketplace so we can rebuild some watermelon stands in front of the CNN cameras. Most of the other soldiers had a real big hard on for what we were doing, but I'm thinking jesus christ we could have paid locals to do this better and cheaper but it wasn't about getting shit done, it was about the locals knowing that we were the ones doing it for them, and to some extent the people back home knowing that we were doing it for the locals. So we'd be outside, 120 degrees, full battle rattle, nailing fucking boards together while the locals slept in their basements cause it was too goddamn hot. Good times. I got out as soon as I could.

[–][deleted] 1438 points1439 points ago

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Instead he was met by one of his father's comrades who carried a watch up his ass for years.

[–][deleted] 259 points260 points ago*

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what is that from again!?? googling "watch in butt" doesn't help enough

Edit: googling "watch in rectum" DOES lead to pulp fiction

[–]mifuyne 294 points295 points ago

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I do believe it was from Pulp Fiction.

[–]midway12 199 points200 points ago

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[–]Agave 77 points78 points ago

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It's wore, he says wore too. I always loved that he says I wore this watch in my ass.

[–]Skeezer1991 26 points27 points ago

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I think you better re-watch that part man. Though you're so close to being correct that I almost don't want to post this.

[–]Horace_P_McTitties 153 points154 points ago

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Captain Koons: Hello, little man. Boy, I sure heard a bunch about you. See, I was a good friend of your dad's. We were in that Hanoi pit of hell together over five years. Hopefully...you'll never have to experience this yourself, but when two men are in a situation like me and your Dad were, for as long as we were, you take on certain responsibilities of the other. If it had been me who had not made it, Major Coolidge would be talkin' right now to my son Jim. But the way it turned out is I'm talkin' to you, Butch. I got somethin' for you. (The Captain sits down and pulls a gold wrist watch from his pocket) This watch I got here was first purchased by your great-grandfather during the first World War. It was bought in a little general store in Knoxville, Tennessee. Made by the first company to ever make wrist watches. Up till then people just carried pocket watches. It was bought by private Doughboy Erine Coolidge on the day he set sail for Paris. It was your great-grandfather's war watch and he wore it everyday he was in that war. When he had done his duty, he went home to your great-grandmother, took the watch off, put it an old coffee can, and in that can it stayed 'til your granddad Dane Coolidge was called upon by his country to go overseas and fight the Germans once again. This time they called it World War II. Your great-grandfather gave this watch to your granddad for good luck. Unfortunately, Dane's luck wasn't as good as his old man's. Dane was a Marine and he was killed -- along with the other Marines at the battle of Wake Island. Your granddad was facing death, he knew it. None of those boys had any illusions about ever leavin' that island alive. So three days before the Japanese took the island, your granddad asked a gunner on an Air Force transport name of Winocki, a man he had never met before in his life, to deliver to his infant son, who he'd never seen in the flesh, his gold watch. Three days later, your granddad was dead. But Winocki kept his word. After the war was over, he paid a visit to your grandmother, delivering to your infant father, his Dad's gold watch. This watch. (holds it up, long pause) This watch was on your Daddy's wrist when he was shot down over Hanoi. He was captured, put in a Vietnamese prison camp. He knew if the gooks ever saw the watch it'd be confiscated, taken away. The way your Dad looked at it, that watch was your birthright. He'd be damned if any slopes were gonna put their greasy yella hands on his boy's birthright. So he hid it in the one place he knew he could hide something. His ass. Five long years, he wore this watch up his ass. Then he died of dysentery, he gave me the watch. I hid this uncomfortable hunk of metal up my ass two years. Then, after seven years, I was sent home to my family. And now, little man, I give the watch to you.

[–]JackAceHole 53 points54 points ago

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One of the greatest film monologues of all time.

[–]TentacleFace 37 points38 points ago

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i totally read this in CW's voice.

[–]Redard 18 points19 points ago

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He says both lol

[–]nero36 8 points9 points ago

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Wow, that watch has been through some shit, i tell ya!

[–]entent 23 points24 points ago

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[–]NindoKungFu 27 points28 points ago

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[–]buckmow 16 points17 points ago

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hegimmedawatch

[–]bigkajamma 35 points36 points ago

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One of the best films ever.

[–]DeweyFat 97 points98 points ago

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[–]aHarmacist 70 points71 points ago

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Pulp Fiction. Enjoy your search history.

[–]asdfman123 1902 points1903 points ago

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But he never got that chance, because a soldier popped out from behind Santa's chair and slit his throat!

[–]ShawnDaley 646 points647 points ago

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Dear god, there were so many blood soaked elves.

[–]Se7en_Sinner 409 points410 points ago

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Worst. Christmas. Ever.

[–]mywhitewolf 577 points578 points ago

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Santa got murdered in-front of me and i didn't even get an iphone.

fuck you mom and dad!

[–]iLaughLOL 256 points257 points ago

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i got an ugly black one. #fuckmom

[–]WildMagnemite 148 points149 points ago

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I got a map of Maryland...

[–]gfixler 111 points112 points ago

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That idiot didn't realize it was a treasure map. Somewhere in Maryland lay buried a brand new iPhone.

[–][deleted] 69 points70 points ago

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The only thing buried in MD is cigarettes and a one page instruction manual on how to drive like an asshole.

[–]joedogg 16 points17 points ago

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Let's be fair. Its more like 25 pages, there's a serious art to it.

[–]Xenc 16 points17 points ago

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Apple Store, MD

[–]Nimblekibbles 15 points16 points ago

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I got a rock...

[–]tes9001 8 points9 points ago

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Too much Reddit...

[–]fondlemeLeroy 49 points50 points ago

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[–]Goodsirreaper 20 points21 points ago

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I read the word "Jolly" and was taken to a bad place. Jolly rancher... Oh god why?

[–]CDBSB 2 points3 points ago

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"I hate to be the only to tell you, but I think those Santas were running the train on your mom."

[–]irawwwr 19 points20 points ago

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Well fuck you. My mom and dad got murdered right in front of me - the Batman.

[–]Batman_Von_Suparman2 14 points15 points ago

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That was one terrible night...

[–]littlelion2k 16 points17 points ago

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That's why I decided to become a superhero- to avenge the iPhone I never got a chance to have!

[–]UberJonez 52 points53 points ago

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Welcome to Killing Floor

[–]Divineproportion[!] 8 points9 points ago

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Dosh Dosh Dosh!

[–]cualcrees 2 points3 points ago

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[–]floppy_camel_anus 16 points17 points ago

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DID YOU FUCK MY MOM? DID YOU FUCK MY MOM? bites santa's neck

[–]SlimMaculate 42 points43 points ago

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I just got finish playing Battlefied 3; I was thinking "That soldier is so gonna take Santa's dog tags"

[–]sparklyjesus 19 points20 points ago

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Haha totally what I thought. It was discovered that there are vast oil fields below the north pole, and that elves were attempting to build WMDs...

[–]funkbitch 24 points25 points ago

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Of all the funny stuff on reddit today, this is the one that made me crack up. Well done, sir or madam.

[–]Blackninja543 19 points20 points ago

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and/or

[–]xenoph2 12 points13 points ago

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Soon...

[–]bluestickystuff 22 points23 points ago

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Um

[–]fishbert 2 points3 points ago

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"Hey, you're not my da-ghlgugh..."

[–]staresatwalls 432 points433 points ago

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I love the fact that the boy is getting his wish, but this kid is going to have rough time at the age of 15 when he is the only one in his school who believes whole-heartedly in SantaClause.

[–]ferromagnificent 40 points41 points ago

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Gotta love that whole Santa Clause loophole in most modern legislation.

[–]ok_most_of_the_time 71 points72 points ago

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I love the fact that the boy is getting his wish, but the kid behind him in line saw it happen and decide to ask for the same thing. Only his dad is dead. And starts to cry because he can't comprehend why Santa brought that other boy's dad back but his own dad is nowhere to be seen.

Then Christmas will be ruined for everybody.

[–]TheShmoo 29 points30 points ago

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You are a bad person

[–]alchemist5 9 points10 points ago

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Nah, he's ok most of the time.

[–]ok_most_of_the_time 6 points7 points ago

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This just isn't one of those times.

[–]let_my_pickles_go 158 points159 points ago

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I love the fact that the boy is getting his wish, but this kid is going to have a rough time at the age of 42 when hes the only one in his mental institution who believes whole-heartedly in Santa Claus.

[–]T-Luv 161 points162 points ago

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I love the fact that the boy is getting his wish, but this kid is going to have a rough time at the age of 67 when hes the only one in the North Pole who is Santa Clause.

[–]treydude 89 points90 points ago

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I love the fact that only one of the people in this thread (two, including myself) realize that there's no 'e' in Santa Claus.

[–]RetroPRO 77 points78 points ago

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The Santa Clause with Tim Allen fucked up everyone up.

[–]failsafe0 33 points34 points ago

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Oh, thank you, I finally understand thr title of that movie. It's a clause that if someone kills santa, they become santa. clause, the legal term.

[–]AetherIsWaiting 3 points4 points ago

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MIND BLOWN

[–]chocolate_ 28 points29 points ago

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I love the fact that in criticizing someone else's spelling, you missed the "s" in "realizes".

(Sorry.)

[–]KommunistKirov 11 points12 points ago

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I LOVE FACTS.

[–]nixonrichard 117 points118 points ago

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Maybe someone in the armed forces can answer this, but why in photos like this is the dad always dressed in fatigues? I mean, it's not like I see my doctor wearing scrubs when I bump into him in the mall. If preparedness is the issue, where is that guy's rifle?

It just doesn't make any sense to me. Also, he's wearing the wrong camo for that environment. His son blends in nicely, however.

[–]djk99 44 points45 points ago

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If he didn't wear his army outfit how would everybody know what the setup for his kid was?

[–]DeweyFat 116 points117 points ago

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He probably hasn't stopped moving since he left for R&R, and went straight from the airport to the mall where his son was.

Also, when deployed you don't exactly carry around a pair of jeans.

[–]nixonrichard 51 points52 points ago

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It's not just this specific example. I'll be going to the movies at 8:00PM and there will be a group of 3 people in fatigues getting tickets to the Muppets.

[–]shanem 54 points55 points ago

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They may be from a local base and just don't want to change. The Marines are the only service that don't allow you to do non work related tasks in fatigues.

[–]zexon 31 points32 points ago

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I can only speak for the air force here. Our rules are we can wear our uniforms to eat or run errands before/during/after duty hours. Other than that, pretty much not allowed to wear them.

Although it doesn't matter that much. Our dress uniform is uncomfortable and our battle dress isn't made for battle. If we go into forward operating bases, we get army uniforms.

[–][deleted] 23 points24 points ago

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My friend in the army never wears fatigues unless he is directly coming from training/whatever. He doesn't like the attention, and is of the opinion that many people who wear them around frequently are fishing for attention. Don't know how true this is.

[–]betterthanthee 9 points10 points ago

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and is of the opinion that many people who wear them around frequently are fishing for attention.

I couldn't agree more. When I was in you never would have caught me off base in my uniform unless I was in my car.

[–]LykDisIfUcryerrytime 4 points5 points ago

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You'll usually find younger, single guys wearing them at inappropriate times/places. They are looking for attention. The same goes for anyone openly wearing dog tags outside of their shirt at a bar.

When I see that, I always say something like, "Hey hero, tuck in your fucking dog-tags." and they do. After some time in the military you can just tell who the young ones fresh from boot/AIT/tech school are.

[–]DeweyFat 7 points8 points ago

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Ok, that I can't explain.

[–]renegadecanuck 26 points27 points ago

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Yeah, but I've seen soldiers doing grocery shopping in their fatigues. I might be wrong, but I kind of doubt that when you're coming home form Afghanistan or Iraq, your first priority would be to pick up some Lucky Charms.

[–]mrsshmoopes 39 points40 points ago

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No, but we still work in our uniform when we are state side, we get off work, go to the grocery store in our work clothes just like alot of civilians do...and go home.

[–]renegadecanuck 8 points9 points ago

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Huh... That actually make sense.... For some reason I've never thought of soldiers having to go to work when not deployed overseas, as ridiculous as that is.

[–]gfixler 70 points71 points ago

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Cognitive bias. You don't realize how many soldiers you're seeing all the time not in uniform.

[–]jaredpunk 4 points5 points ago

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Holy shit, you genuinely changed my mind on the subject. I mean you literally made me nod my head and say hmm.

[–]renegadecanuck 10 points11 points ago

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I don't see what that has to do with the soldiers I that are in uniform... My comment had nothing to do with the ones not in uniform, I was asking about those who wear their combat fatigues like they're everyday wear. It's obviously a bit of a trend, even if only a small minority of soldiers do so.

[–]Bablette 14 points15 points ago

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My dad is required to wear his fatigues to work every day. So if my mom asks him to stop at the store on his way home or he decides to go grab something on his lunch break he isn't going to go change to do that.

[–]brocotree 15 points16 points ago

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I think a lot of the time they go straight from the airport to see/surprise their families. If I was gone from my family for a year changing out of my uniform would be a lot further down on my list of things to do.

[–]AA108 16 points17 points ago

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It's 1% percent because they have no time to change, 99% because they think it looks awesome and people will totally have respect for them.

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points ago

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Nah, there's the 50% who are just too damn lazy to put on their civies so they just go in what they've been wearing all day because it seems kind of stupid to change clothes just to go grocery shopping.

Trust me, I know, former USAF, still lazy.

[–]NextRoundsOnMe 2 points3 points ago

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Because when your primary goal is to stage something for the cameras you need the uniform to get the full effect.

This "set the kid up" meme has just turned into an attention grab. "Well son, I could have seen you a couple of days earlier, but it took some time to set up this whole thing so we could get on the internet and the local news". Actually scratch that. Most of the kids are probably in on it.

[–]grendelt 232 points233 points ago

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[–]malapropolopolis 26 points27 points ago

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All I could think about was the other children being mortified that santa wasn't real.

[–]djloosefit 49 points50 points ago

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Definitely read the title as "Girl Tells Santa She Wants Dad Home From Iraq, Doesn't Know Santa is Dead".... I was almost as surprised as she was(!)

[–]headphonehalo 18 points19 points ago

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"Girl Tells Santa She Wants Dad Home From Iraq, Doesn't Know Santa is Dead"

I haven't laughed this hard in months. Thank you.

[–]GingerSoul44 96 points97 points ago

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Oh my god. This might be the most wonderful thing I've ever seen on the internet. I cried.

[–][deleted] 78 points79 points ago*

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They should've interviewed the other kids after the great reveal. "Did you enjoy meeting santa?" "Uh…that was not santa. That was her dad…so that means…"

Good job team.

[–]originaluip 29 points30 points ago

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All the kids gonna be hittin up Santa's daughter for playstations next year

[–]Soviet_Waffle 15 points16 points ago

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All the kids gonna be hittin up Santa's daughter

ಠ_ಠ

[–]OmegaArcadia 3 points4 points ago

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"Want to taste my candy cane?"

[–]Demotic 19 points20 points ago

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It's should've*

Please remember it.

[–]ludacity 41 points42 points ago

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Ha you're telling me. I made the mistake of watching this on the crapper. That made for an weird situation..

[–]TentacleFace 68 points69 points ago

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Shit-Crying is nothing to be ashamed of.

[–]poopwaffle 26 points27 points ago

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Tears coming out of all kinds of holes

[–]rushouse 6 points7 points ago

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Well then, you'll love this one...

[–]banjo_billy 47 points48 points ago

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damnit, why am I watching these at 1am. Here's another one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d7npunWUVsw&feature=related

[–]GingerSoul44 31 points32 points ago

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I keep watching them too. I finally stopped crying, and then I clicked on your link.

My revenge: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uSMlIM9zLio

[–]qpqpdbdbqpqp 26 points27 points ago

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[–]PixelCookie 17 points18 points ago

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Read the updates. The guy sent the adsense ad money from the video (around $600) to an animal shelter. What a boss.

[–]AnonUhNon 11 points12 points ago

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I now have one less shirt and one gigantic tissue.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points ago

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I'M A FULL GROWN MAN SITTING IN MY ROOM CRYING AT 4 IN THE MORNING

[–]PerogiXW 6 points7 points ago

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DAMMIT REDDIT.

STOP THIS RIGHT NOW.

I CAN'T HANDLE ANY MORE.

[–]jordantc 16 points17 points ago

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[–]RiceDong 12 points13 points ago

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Stop this shit this instance! I am a grown man weeping like a 4 year old from these links, damnit. Especially this one. just burst out crying.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ow8XF7LtDG0&feature=related

[–]herpenderpenderp 10 points11 points ago

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STOP IT DAMMIT. IM TRYING TO REDDIT. I CANT STOP WATCHING THESE.

[–]TheJVH 9 points10 points ago

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Thanks guys, for making me cry at work.

[–]topdawg312 11 points12 points ago

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From the comments: "That Asian kid is so pissed the spelling bee was a hoax". cracked me up and kept me from crying at the last second.

[–]BetaRhoOmega 66 points67 points ago

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Maybe I've just grown cynical but did anyone watch that and think the thing was staged, at least the part that was filmed with her reaction to the dad (not the actual premise of the kids getting their presents from a santa or whatever)? Why would she ask the santa for her dad unless she had an idea that he'd be there? My only thought was that maybe they told her he was coming in some form and she didn't know he was gonna be santa?

[–]grendelt 44 points45 points ago

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You're not alone. I thought about it too. When I was a kid, even if my dad was dressed as Santa, I'd recognize him by his eyes or voice. Like when this guy says "Ya'll doin' good?" - c'mon. And the fact she didn't get a present. Sure she had to have seen it coming.

But it's still a sweet story. Let everyone cry in peace. :')

[–]why_try 15 points16 points ago

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but would you recognize a voice you hadnt heard in 2 years? especially if he was trying to disguise it by sounding like santa?

[–]grendelt 14 points15 points ago

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Telephones still work.

[–]Neuron_Poop 20 points21 points ago

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I felt the exact same way. None of the reactions seemed very genuine and the whole thing seemed staged. My heart might be two sizes too small though.

[–]crave_you 5 points6 points ago

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I think it was staged too

[–]innovationzz 15 points16 points ago*

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SHENANIGANS

...i unfortunately agree, for all that buildup the hug was a joke ಠ_ಠ

edit: i feel terrible about what i said but i still think the kid is full of shit

im so upset that someone else caught on IGNORANCE WAS BLISS i nearly cried but then THAT happened oh MAN i wish this was legit as OP

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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Yep... That was set up.

[–]niperwiper 7 points8 points ago

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I'm sure it was re-staged just for presentation on the news, but I like to imagine that it happened for real off-camera and somebody tipped the media about it who decided it'd be a great story to recreate and use to cap off the xmas broadcast with.

[–]spruce_moose 29 points30 points ago

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[–]mushmancat 18 points19 points ago

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1:10- This isn't tough to watch at all 1:15- Still waiting spruce moose 1:20- Ok, keep it together 1:25- This

[–]crave_you 9 points10 points ago

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F u!!! God she's so cute how she says "daddy?".

[–]kinslayer72 24 points25 points ago

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Fuck you man. I thought I was tough.

[–]Paroxysm80 17 points18 points ago

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I might sound like an asshole when I say this, but I didn't get the same message you did. I didn't get "Her dad's home from Iraq! Yay" like everyone else who responded.

That little girl misses him soooooo much. And do you know why? The correspondent said "He's been home for two weeks in two years". That's fucking sad, it really is. He's also a contractor. He does that by choice. As a military member, I do not get that choice. Whether it was for good money, or future planning or whatever, it's been his decision all along to not see his little girl.

It makes me mad that my wife and I have been trying for 4 years for a child, and this guy just says "fuck it, going to Iraq" for two years.

[–]mortaine 5 points6 points ago

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As a military member, I do not get that choice. Whether it was for good money, or future planning or whatever, it's been his decision all along to not see his little girl.

I am really, really sorry to point this out and derail the thread and sound like an even bigger asshole, but: were you drafted?

Because if you were drafted, then sometime in the past 30+ years since the draft ended, you probably could have gotten out.

And if you weren't drafted, then your military service was also a choice, and probably one motivated by money and planning for your future.

[–]ferrarisnowday 4 points5 points ago

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That's exactly what I was thinking. 2 weeks in 2 years...by choice? Fuck that.

The only way it's maybe an okay decision is if it is such a ridiculous sum of money that he can retire like right now and spend as much time with her as he wants. But that's very unlikely to be the case.

[–]nekrozis 62 points63 points ago

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He was already home but just waiting for a photo opportunity.

[–][deleted] 46 points47 points ago

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For six months.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Killvo 114 points115 points ago

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I love this kind of thing but I have always wondered what if he doesn't wish for his dad to come home. I mean obviously he would still be glad his dad is home but that would kind of take some of the magic out of the moment.

[–]Flogg186 242 points243 points ago

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"I want an Xbox for christmas"

"Is there anything else you reaaaallly want?"

"Nope just the Xbox"

[–]Spysix 156 points157 points ago

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15 seconds later

"But I wanted an xbox!" :(

[–]overloadofswagger 152 points153 points ago

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"Oh..Hey dad."

[–]Nition 170 points171 points ago

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"Did you bring the XBox!?"

[–]adhiofawkes 44 points45 points ago

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"Nope. But I got map of Maryland!"

[–]nogswarth 13 points14 points ago

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FUCKXMAS

[–]jrupac 13 points14 points ago

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...better go on Twitter and complain about it!

[–]l80 52 points53 points ago

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I imagine the dad would just stay back there, dejected and sad, eventually turning into a claymation version of himself. His transformation complete, Santa will them send him to the isle of misfit toys.

[–]flagamuffin 17 points18 points ago

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Where Abed will present him with a wrapped copy of the first season of Lost.

[–]GenDan 18 points19 points ago

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I'm sure the mom suggested that he ask for dad to come home.

[–]dariidar 14 points15 points ago

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Maybe they collaborated with the santa actor, i.e. prompted him to say "i hear your dad is in the military..."

[–]Kmartrules 9 points10 points ago

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Maybe his mum said "Wish for dad to come home" or something.

[–]HanaNotBanana 2 points3 points ago

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Maybe he already told his mom what he was going to ask Santa for

[–]hueyflyer469 123 points124 points ago

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That kid just tweeted "my dad didn't bring me a white iPhone worst Christmas ever!"

[–]dmagee33 61 points62 points ago

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-sent from his iphone

[–]Arminas 49 points50 points ago

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  • sent from his black iphone.

[–]gfixler 71 points72 points ago

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I don't have any problems with black iphones. In fact, one of my best friends is a black iphone.

[–]jayce513 476 points477 points ago

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Shit like this will never get old for me. I dont care what country you are from or who you are or what youre doing with your life, what is important is family.

[–]alreadytakenusername 255 points256 points ago

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But, what if his mom didn't give him enough hint and he says, "Nintendo 3DS!" Wouldn't it be awkward?

[–]MonkeyDog453 230 points231 points ago

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Dad better run to the mall's gamestop really quick and pop out with a 3DS.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Leaves_You_Hanging 86 points87 points ago

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[–]stlunatic15 38 points39 points ago

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NO!! IT'S A TURBO MAN DOLL!!!

[–]NeededANewName 2 points3 points ago

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PUT THAT COOKIE DOWN!! NOW!!

[–]Zhoulibo 19 points20 points ago

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RIP Phil Hartman

[–]royford 9 points10 points ago

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I am very surprised to see that a score for this movie's soundtrack actually exists

[–]bvanman 13 points14 points ago

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Annie? Little Annie? Is that you?

[–]PerogiXW 6 points7 points ago

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I read this in Arnold's voice and now I'm realizing how much better he would have been than Jar-Jar.

[–]Thrasher1493 2 points3 points ago

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I was wondering what that movie was called. Remember watching it as a little kid.

[–][deleted] 39 points40 points ago

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Then his wife divorces him and only lets him see his kid once a month.

[–]I_TAKE_HATS 38 points39 points ago

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And then he realizes he's unemployed and his benefits get cut because Congress has decided the F-35 is more important.

[–]Adontis 8 points9 points ago

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He also comes back to find that the plant he used to work at got exported to the country where he just got back from and the guy who put the shrapnel in his ass got his old job 'cause he'll work for 15 cents a day and no bathroom breaks,

[–]niczar 34 points35 points ago

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Iraqi kids don't believe in Santa, that's why their dad is never coming home. Truly Bush & Obama are doing god's work!

[–]fallafelrofl 14 points15 points ago

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I thought I would laugh reading your comment but that just really bummed me out.

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points ago

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Imagine how awkward if the kid behind him asks for her dad to come home too.

[–]HydraCarbon 60 points61 points ago*

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There are a few comments talking about how much it will suck when he finds out Santa isn't real or how he'll be the only kid who believes in Santa when he's 15. I just wanted to leave you all with one of my favorite comments on reddit. Santa is real.

Edit: If anyone is looking for who to give karma to, bbiscuits was the guy who posted it to r/bestof, but I've never known who posted the comment.

[–]TheShrubber 9 points10 points ago

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The next kid, who wanted an Xbox 360, was PISSED

[–]Nieros 14 points15 points ago

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Is it bad that my first thought was "Man that's a good way to have your kids convinced santa is real for a long time"

[–]CScott30 5 points6 points ago

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I never got my dad home when I asked... Santa hated me I suppose.

[–]TheAmbiguityBuster 17 points18 points ago

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Can someone please explain to me why men in the army seem to always be wearing their army gear? Is it just pride? It seems like that's the last thing they'd want to be wearing when they came home, after wearing the same thing for past few years.

[–]om_nom_nom 10 points11 points ago

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I just know what my mom did, and she had to wear it on the way back. She always surprised us when she came home, and every time she was in her uniform, because coming home was literally the first thing that she did.

[–][deleted] 36 points37 points ago

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This is nice and all. But let's have a moment for all the people who didn't make it back to their families this Christmas. On both sides.

War is hell. And this sort of shit does NOT even begin to make up for it. So until we're off the war horse (we're far from off it) then your thoughts are wasted on stuff like this. There are far too many who don't make it back.

Far too many innocents on the other side of things whos homes are bombed half way to hell and have to deal with not only one family member dying, but many of them. Sometimes before their very eyes. To us it's sad when a child of that age has to deal with not getting anything for Christmas. But for many in other parts of the world, it's worse than that.

Spare a thought for them. This guy got to be with his kid this Christmas. And all the best to him and his family. But think of the others. They are many.

[–]capnjack78 14 points15 points ago

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Also, I hate to see when soldiers come to a kid's classroom. I can't help but think there must be another kid in that same school whose father or mother hasn't returned from war, and grandstanding a soldier's return at the school just makes them feel shitty.

[–]ByTheHammerOfThor 3 points4 points ago

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I don't care what the backstory is. This looks terrifying. It looks like Santa is luring him into a trap, and the soldier is just lying in wait like a trapdoor spider. This image needs a second frame zoomed in on the soldier's face that just says SOON.

[–]sandcastleguy 3 points4 points ago

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what if he doesn't ask for his dad to come home?

[–]DasKrabben 5 points6 points ago

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Funny how national tv happened to be there.

[–]Starrfx642 5 points6 points ago

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His father is Christian Bale?

[–]PutDescartesB4Whores 7 points8 points ago

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"What would you like for Christmas, kiddo?"

"Oh I'd like a 3DS, and a doggy, and a pony..."

"What about your dad?"

"What dad?"

[–]Puddindoobop 12 points13 points ago

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Soon... :)

[–]Dragon_yum 2 points3 points ago

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...and he got ambushed by military forces.

[–]p4lm3r 2 points3 points ago

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Santa brings home daddy. Checkmate, jesus.

[–]hombre_lobo 2 points3 points ago

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Why is he still wearing BDUs?

[–]VeiledAiel 2 points3 points ago

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Anyone else find this picture terrifying?

[–]KittenMurder 2 points3 points ago

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It looks more like that badass behind the chair is about to stealth kill Santa.

[–]Shinwaokami 2 points3 points ago

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All I'm picturing is Santa's neck being snapped commando style a moment later. Children watching on in shock and horror.....man I love Christmas.

[–]throweraccount 2 points3 points ago

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