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369
370

This fucking guy. (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by Gordondel

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[–]cgrabe 349 points350 points ago

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So don't keep us in the dark. Did he get his refill?

[–]janjko 320 points321 points ago

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Of course not, service there obviously sucks.

[–]faprawr 91 points92 points ago

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You take that back now and apologize to Peach!

[–]dafragsta 39 points40 points ago*

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Pay Peach her goddamn dues!

[–]Waitwtfisthis 31 points32 points ago

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I've killed better men than you.

[–]HookDragger 11 points12 points ago

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After that move, I'm sure the server did suck something....

[–]gynoceros 14 points15 points ago

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"That was the first time I engaged in receptive anal sex with a 65 year old man."

[–]GDIsteve 1 point2 points ago

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Simply anal sex wasn't specific enough?

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    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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    She dropped it

    [–]MrHorseWithNoName 22 points23 points ago

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    Jesus Christ, man! There's just some things you don't talk about in public!

    [–]dafragsta 14 points15 points ago

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    Can you call me second suitor? Suitor #2 sounds like a bathroom code.

    [–]Mr_Fan_C_Pants 1 point2 points ago

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    OK, second suitor, if we were making whoopee.....

    [–]chavoc 17 points18 points ago

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    I upvoted the story in the hopes that more people will see your comment

    [–]SuperBOOTH 6 points7 points ago

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    Seriously I did the same! The story is great.... but your comment made me laugh so hard my co-workers thought I was having a seizure.

    [–]itsprobablytrue 4 points5 points ago

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    I think in reality the story would have ended with tan guy calling the cops later and having the old man get arrested. After that Peach would have been fired from the coffee shop.

    Tan man always trying to bring people down.

    [–]bigroblee 6 points7 points ago

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    Does anyone know if there's a theoretical limit to the number of times an item can be reposted before it implodes and hastens the heat death of the universe?

    [–]bluejacket 25 points26 points ago

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    if it's a fabricated 4chan tale, it can be reposted any time and has haste. Draw a card

    [–]johall 4 points5 points ago

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    Upvote purely based on M:tG reference.

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      [–]thejnr 66 points67 points ago

      sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

      This is my first time seeing this post. As a new redditor, it made me smile and laugh. It will probably be posted again, and on that day, someone who has never seen it will smile and laugh. I will see it again, remember it being funny, and smile. Reddit is always getting new members, and what is a repost to you may be something new and funny to them. Consider it.

      [–][deleted] 13 points14 points ago

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      You just made me realize that I didn't mind seeing it again.

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        [–]Nasturtium 26 points27 points ago*

        sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

        I'm not sure why I feel the need to comment on this, but what the heck, after listening to repost coments on every thread I am a tad tired of it. So, I have been a redditor for over four years, I browse reddit every day, sometimes for hours at a time. My front page is varied, and I often will just hit the random reddit button for some variation, but of course I subscribe and check daily to 'funny' 'offbeat' 'humor' and many other most frequented subreddits. This is the first time I have come across this post. Reposts are a good thing because after four plus years of non stop entertaining internet anecdotes and jokes, litterally tens of thousands of images and short stories, I am apt to forget a few of them. Also, new folks should get a chance to look at old things without having to dig through thousands of pages of archives. I for one am thankful the OP decided to take the time to repost this.

        [–]karmaval 5 points6 points ago

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        Then you'll appreciate this:

        I'm not sure why I feel the need to comment on this, but what the heck, after listening to repost coments on every thread I am a tad tired of it. So, I have been a redditor for over four years, I browse reddit every day, sometimes for hours at a time. My front page is varied, and I often will just hit the random reddit button for some variation, but of course I subscribe and check daily to 'funny' 'offbeat' 'humor' and many other most frequented subreddits. This is the first time I have come across this post. Reposts are a good thing because after four plus years of non stop entertaining internet anecdotes and jokes, litterally tens of thousands of images and short stories, I am apt to forget a few of them. Also, new folks should get a chance to look at old things without having to dig through thousands of pages of archives. I for one am thankful the OP decided to take the time to repost this.

        [–]Nasturtium 1 point2 points ago

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        Immediately after I posted my original statement, from what I now understand about the events that transpired therein, a gigantic charge of gravitons and graviolees reacted in a freak convergence of cuilistic forces triggered by my pressing the 'save' button. The reaction split the very fabric of space time and I found myself drifting in a semi lucent state of non-being apart from any semblance of rational thought or awareness. At once I found myself both aware of my physical body, my mortal coil, sitting at my desk, my hands paint splattered from the primer I had just finished putting up hovering over my keys, and at the same time part of my being was lost in an alternate universe. In this alternate universe, time itself seemed to pass at a infinitely faster rate then in ours and although only three hours passed in my physical body, to my other-awareness, whole stars were born and died in supernovas, all matter decayed, the universe contracted in on itself and time itself contracted to a point and repeated itself. I was forced to experience death and rebirth a thousand, million times and experience the decay and pain of a million worlds, as I sat trapped and miserable at my desk. Finally, after aeons, the cuilsitic field linked to the static charge in my computer was broken by your orange envelope popping up on my screen, and reading your reiteration of my previous statement, was the lifeline I used to recover my sanity, my singularity as an individual and my wholeness after many lifetimes of duality. Mere words cannot express my gratitude.

        [–]karmaval 1 point2 points ago

        sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

        Immediately after I posted my original statement, from what I now understand about the events that transpired therein, a gigantic charge of gravitons and graviolees reacted in a freak convergence of cuilistic forces triggered by my pressing the 'save' button. The reaction split the very fabric of space time and I found myself drifting in a semi lucent state of non-being apart from any semblance of rational thought or awareness. At once I found myself both aware of my physical body, my mortal coil, sitting at my desk, my hands paint splattered from the primer I had just finished putting up hovering over my keys, and at the same time part of my being was lost in an alternate universe. In this alternate universe, time itself seemed to pass at a infinitely faster rate then in ours and although only three hours passed in my physical body, to my other-awareness, whole stars were born and died in supernovas, all matter decayed, the universe contracted in on itself and time itself contracted to a point and repeated itself. I was forced to experience death and rebirth a thousand, million times and experience the decay and pain of a million worlds, as I sat trapped and miserable at my desk. Finally, after aeons, the cuilsitic field linked to the static charge in my computer was broken by your orange envelope popping up on my screen, and reading your reiteration of my previous statement, was the lifeline I used to recover my sanity, my singularity as an individual and my wholeness after many lifetimes of duality. Mere words cannot express my gratitude.

        [–]bigroblee 2 points3 points ago

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        Hi Nasturium! I'd like to take a moment to respond. I've been a redditor for a short time, just a month or so. In that time I've seen things that I've never seen before that are as old as time itself and things that I've seen dozens of times that are only weeks or months old. I enjoy them all. My comment wasn't intended to be mean or hateful or even judgmental of reposting this. You can take a look at my comment history, I don't tend to whine or bitch much, and my comment was only intended as good fun. It just popped into my head when I saw this post, which to be honest I saw for the first time only weeks ago here on Reddit. I thought it was a funny thought, and as I didn't have anyone sitting here to share it with, I thought I would put it up here. There is nothing wrong with reposting, just as there is nothing wrong with reruns, watching movies a second or third time, or repeating anything that gives you joy after another run. If my comment really seemed that snarky, I apologize to all; I was just thinking I was a wit, and posted what came to mind.

        TLDR; I was just going for a laugh, reposting is as old as time itself.

        [–]Nasturtium 1 point2 points ago

        sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

        Wow, not bad. Cheers for you for taking the time. There was nothing especially nasty about your snarky remark, I thought it was creative. I only was trying to clearly iterate how I feel about the constant 'repost' spam, and your post was evidently the last straw for me.

        [–]bigroblee 2 points3 points ago

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        I have been the last straw for many people in my life, just continuing the tradition. :)

        [–]foomp 12 points13 points ago

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        the limit is one less then the number of times that people will bitch about it being a repost.

        [–]Zoltar23 11 points12 points ago

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        Doesnt Multi-vac have an answer for that?

        [–]wildcard1992 14 points15 points ago

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        INSUFFICIENT DATA FOR A MEANINGFUL ANSWER.

        [–]raisinbrand 1 point2 points ago

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        Thank you for this.

        [–]johnpeelwastheman 1 point2 points ago

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        I think the last thing I expected to see in this thread was an Asimov reference. Bravo.

        [–]bigroblee 5 points6 points ago*

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        So, there is a limit but the limit is (∞-1)?

        [–]i542 5 points6 points ago

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        I am wondering if Douglas Adams invented that limit.

        [–]foomp 1 point2 points ago

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        Wouldn't the amount of complaints be an arbitrarily large but finite number?

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            [–]anotherdroid 760 points761 points ago

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            it's impossible for me to describe how much this didn't happen.

            [–]SplurgyA 143 points144 points ago

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            "So I was working in a café, and this little old lady was there. Anyway, Saddam Hussein comes in and starts slapping me in my face, when suddenly, the old lady stands up and rips off her blouse to reveal rippling muscles. She chokeslams Saddam Hussein and then stabs him to death with a breadknife. Then she sits back down and ask for a refill."

            [–]tytotabuki 94 points95 points ago

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            Why does the old lady have a bread knife but you don't mention bread at all. Your story is full of holes. I don't believe it for a second.

            [–]KnightKrawler 22 points23 points ago

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            Thanks, I knew something was a bit odd but couldn't figure it out.

            [–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

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            Your story is full of holes

            Same as Saddam Hussein after she got done with the knife.

            [–]zhiryst 1 point2 points ago

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            Saddam Hussein is full of holes.

            FTFY

            [–]cs76 17 points18 points ago

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            Turns out it was Bill Brasky the whole time! That son-of-a-bitch!

            [–]GiuntaWorks 8 points9 points ago

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            To Bill Brasky!

            [–]BigGreenYamo 5 points6 points ago

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            Best damn salesman in the office!

            [–]Hughtub 1 point2 points ago*

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            I believe, without question, I believe. Look how many upvotes you have, over 120 now. Why would it be untrue if so many others believe?... and that's how religious myths are propagated. You see, there was a time when church was entertainment. The congregation would go there mostly to laugh and discover what bullshit story is being told this Sunday. Then they started competing with each other over the ability to not laugh, until they got so good that new believers didn't know the stories were meant to amuse and make the people laugh at their absurdity. So the tradition of the Sunday morning comedian turned into Sunday morning bullshitter, but the people still keep paying!

            load more comments (5 replies)

              [–]alexkoeh 270 points271 points ago*

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              Impossible for me to describe how many times I've seen this before.

              Edit: Wait.....................nope still can't.

              [–]Zeppelanoid 72 points73 points ago

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              Let me try:

              Too many.

              [–]perb123 20 points21 points ago

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              Almost there, I think a "fucking" would've done it.

              [–]DavisTasar 67 points68 points ago

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              Too many fucking.

              [–]superbad 4 points5 points ago

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              Yes, that would do just fine.

              [–]torpedo-vegas 2 points3 points ago

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              "Too many fucking."

              I don't know, it still doesn't sound right.

              [–]iSeize 2 points3 points ago

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              naw its fine

              [–]esoomenona 4 points5 points ago

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              Wait, I like where this is going now.

              [–]levilarrington 1 point2 points ago

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              You could start by stating that the first time was before you were born and men still hunted dinosaurs for food.

              [–]Frank5 1 point2 points ago

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              Sigh

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                [–]PaperRockBazooka 19 points20 points ago

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                I call shenanigans. Story sounds like a character introduction scene in every goddamn anime. And its from 4chan.

                [–]JohnTrollvolta 1 point2 points ago

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                I was thinking more like a Lee Child book...

                [–]lukasbradley 23 points24 points ago

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                I would also like to offer my most sincere inability to articulate the non-happening of this event.

                [–]nairbmik 1 point2 points ago

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                I KNOW RIGHT?! I mean, what kind of fucking nickname is PEACH? Unbelievable.

                [–]miskatonicrich 1 point2 points ago

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                No...it isn't

                "/b/ - Random

                The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.

                Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact."

                [–]kolm 1 point2 points ago

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                It was reposted at least 20 times here. By law of repetition-makes-a-claim-a-fact, this is scripture by now.

                [–]RogerDeanVenture 3 points4 points ago

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                But that is just more reason to make a new life goal : grow up and carry a sword cane

                [–]OmniaII 5 points6 points ago

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                Well this time it is posted under pics and not 'Real Life Stories'

                Maybe the next repost of this 'image/text' will be under funny like the last 5 (it was created in 2009 after all, did you think it has never been posted on reddit before?)

                But who really cares if it is real.

                Clue:Nothing on the 'net is real

                [–]happy555cat 1 point2 points ago

                sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                When you get down to it, the reality that you experience isn't even real, it is filtered through your experience of reality. Everyone is always one step removed. That is, does real even exist as a concrete term, or is it more flexible (contradicting itself).

                [–][deleted] 9 points10 points ago

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                Umm wut? I sense that you're studying psychology at community college, and that your hobbies include vodka, hair dye and text messaging.

                [–]njh219 1 point2 points ago

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                Then I guess it won't be a problem when your not eating food since its not even real.

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                    [–]Gordondel[S] -1 points0 points ago

                    sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                    Do you feel the need to point out that it is fake everytime you watch tv, read a book or go see a movie? Anyway I don't see why that story couldn't be possible, I don't say it is, but why not..

                    [–][deleted] 19 points20 points ago

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                    I've met people like this old guy - they exist.

                    [–]yoreel 0 points1 point ago

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                    I live next to a 65+ year old guy.

                    He has a fully functioning .50 cal that he made by himself.

                    They really do exist.

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                      [–][deleted] ago

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                      [deleted]

                      [–]CaseyG 1 point2 points ago

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                      Gentlemen, we have a call of shenanigans.

                      [–]DeSaad 1 point2 points ago

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                      People like Denny exist. There used to be more of them a generation back.

                      Bow before them in respect, ye lesser humans, for their kind is aging away and they will eventually dissipate into nothingness, like dust in a summer breeze.

                      Pretty soon we will only hear of them in stories, and ask "who were those people who followed no law but of their own hearts?" But the people who met them will also age away, and then they will be all forgotten.

                      [–]intertron1 5 points6 points ago

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                      This is from the movie Gran Torino and Denny is Clint Eastwood. Watch the movie.

                      [–]anotherdroid 6 points7 points ago

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                      was just a lighthearted comment. nobody gets hurt.

                      [–]Im_more_ignorant 10 points11 points ago

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                      Well Jesus Fucking Christ, Dickwad, Shut the Fuck up!

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                          [–]marthirial 1 point2 points ago

                          sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                          This shit has been posted so many times, it is like George Costanza said "it is not a lie if you believe it".

                          [–]SpartaWillBurn 1 point2 points ago

                          sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                          As with most stories on reddit.

                          [–]junkit33 1 point2 points ago

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                          Not to mention the story is likely older than the person who posted it.

                          [–]Todomanna 2 points3 points ago

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                          Well, until you do, I'm going to believe it anyways. Because it's awesome, and nyeh.

                          [–]rvweber -1 points0 points ago

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                          That is where you are wrong. For, you see, I am that old man. And my sword is currently out.

                          [–]spastacus 6 points7 points ago

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                          Doug put your dick back in pants. We're all sick of this game already.

                          [–]antonivs 1 point2 points ago

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                          That's it? Looks like you're in need of some Viagra...

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                              [–]Triseult 10 points11 points ago

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                              My suspension of disbelief lasted until the guy dropped a fifty on the counter.

                              Why couldn't it have been a buck? Then I would have been happy in my delusion!

                              [–]katedid 28 points29 points ago

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                              Why did I read the parts of Denny speaking in the voice of Sean Connery?

                              [–]KennyFuckingPowers 7 points8 points ago

                              sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                              No idea, he sounds more like a grizzled Vietnam veteran type (think Epic Beard Guy) than a distinguish Scotsman.

                              But Denny is just one of our dads in a costume anyway.

                              [–]AxezCore 10 points11 points ago*

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                              Or like Robert Duvall in Secondhand Lions.

                              [–]mattysidezips 1 point2 points ago

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                              I actually read Denny's part in the voice of Tiny Attorney from Venture Bros, or really any generic southernish accent.

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                                [–]JGPH 1 point2 points ago*

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                                I read them as William Shatner.

                                Denny Crane: You've.... misunderstoodmesir, Peachoverthere works a lot harder than you and youlooklikeyou could spare... adollar.

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                                  [–]evileddy 28 points29 points ago

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                                  Sounds like my grandfather ( the douche with tattoos )

                                  [–]stopmakingsense 42 points43 points ago

                                  sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                  Ah, a 4chan repost.

                                  Our generation's equivalent of FWD: FWD: RE: FWD: Re: FWD: Fwd: Amazing Story!!!

                                  [–]JoeDusk 113 points114 points ago

                                  sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                  This fucking repost.

                                  [–]woo545 26 points27 points ago

                                  sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                  First time I saw it.

                                  [–]Dexiro 13 points14 points ago

                                  sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                  And this is why people shouldn't complain about reposts - If a repost is getting upvotes then it's obviously of use to someone, I hadn't seen this before either.

                                  [–]timbatron 4 points5 points ago

                                  sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                  It's a legitimate complaint if new users are causing the quality of the front page to decrease for themselves. There's not much you can do about it, but it's a completely legitimate complaint. It's like complaining about the flood of new users that don't follow reddiquette.

                                  [–]EatMoreHippo 1 point2 points ago

                                  sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                  It devalues the importance of making new content when you can just dig up old content and post it.

                                  [–]kolossal 6 points7 points ago

                                  sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                  It's not even that good to keep reposting tbh.

                                  [–]millej 1 point2 points ago

                                  sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                  It's new to me. I'm sure you were here before it was cool, so you've seen everything there is to see, but I wasn't and I haven't, so quit being a fucking reddit hipster.

                                  [–]Timmmmbob 1 point2 points ago

                                  sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                  He isn't bragging about having seen it before. He's annoyed that someone wasted his time by showing it again. And again and again.

                                  If you want to see old things go to the old pages of reddit.

                                  load more comments (7 replies)

                                    [–]ProbablyHittingOnYou 142 points143 points ago*

                                    sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                    Wow, an obviously fake, old, 4chan screenshot of text in a subreddit for pictures that has been reposted many times. How can I not upvote?

                                    [–]KoalaBomb 35 points36 points ago

                                    sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                    The story is still enjoyable. I like to think that the internet is like Santa. Sure you knew it couldn't be real but you still believed because it was so enjoyable.

                                    But yeah, it has been reposted a million times.

                                    load more comments (8 replies)

                                      [–]rxninja 38 points39 points ago

                                      sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                      True or fake, repost or not, I greatly enjoyed this story.

                                      [–]FureverLurking 6 points7 points ago

                                      sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                      Upvote for you, good sir. I've never seen it, and no matter if it is real or not, I enjoyed it.

                                      [–]xployt 4 points5 points ago

                                      sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                      OH THANK GOD YOU WERE HERE! I was afraid I wasn't going to see this reposted every week for the rest of my life.

                                      [–]quindraco 7 points8 points ago

                                      sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                      This story is older than Reddit, you know.

                                      [–]ballstein 2 points3 points ago

                                      sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                      My brain just exploded from this old fucking repost.

                                      [–][deleted] 11 points12 points ago

                                      sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                      Old story but fun to re-read. In these days of teen/youth glorification this story is an oasis.

                                      [–]dmmagic 8 points9 points ago

                                      sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                      I don't care if it's true or not. I want to believe.

                                      [–]goodnightspoon 4 points5 points ago

                                      sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                      AMA Request: Denny.

                                      [–]Prufrock451 8 points9 points ago

                                      sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                      I WALK THE EARTH DISPENSING JUSTICE WITH A SWORD CANE AMA

                                      [–]chuggles 8 points9 points ago

                                      sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                      I, too, enjoy a good fake story.

                                      [–]ksnap 3 points4 points ago

                                      sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                      Denny is...the Most Interesting Man In The World

                                      [–]RexBearcock 3 points4 points ago

                                      sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                      I don't always brandish weapons, but when I do, I prefer a sword cane.

                                      [–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

                                      sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                      Peach is a nice way of saying unattractive fat chick.

                                      [–]mannatera 8 points9 points ago

                                      sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                      Old repost is old

                                      [–]WoodsMD 5 points6 points ago

                                      sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                      And reposted

                                      [–]RyogaXenoVee 1 point2 points ago*

                                      sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                      The moral of this story is simple. "Treat everyone you meet with dignity."

                                      [–]thelittlestewok 1 point2 points ago

                                      sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                      This is so old that I saw it on digg... when it was already 2 years old.

                                      [–]DeanDaDream 1 point2 points ago

                                      sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                      Repost!

                                      [–]mydentistsname 1 point2 points ago

                                      sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                      Uhm...that sucked.

                                      [–]PAT_ 1 point2 points ago

                                      sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                      Cool story from re-post village

                                      [–]Al_FrankenBerry 1 point2 points ago

                                      sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                      What, this again? As though repetition will make it true?

                                      [–]waffleninja 1 point2 points ago

                                      sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                      If I see this one more fucking time.

                                      [–]pineapplesmasher 1 point2 points ago

                                      sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                      How does this fuckin story hit the front page over and over and over.

                                      [–]portibroski 4 points5 points ago

                                      sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                      I want to meet be this man.

                                      [–]sterichards 4 points5 points ago

                                      sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                      Did Denny finally get Peach in bed or is he still working on it? I'd bet bottom dollar that Denny paid Mr Bigshot to come in there and do exactly that so Denny could get deep inside Peach.

                                      Sneaky bastard.

                                      [–]drewba 3 points4 points ago

                                      sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                      I honestly believed every word up until the guy left $50.

                                      [–]NDND 1 point2 points ago

                                      sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                      Older than the internet

                                      [–]avrus 2 points3 points ago

                                      sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                      Denny didn't happen have six fingers on his left hand did he? No particular reason I ask ...

                                      [–]Ralphy1921 2 points3 points ago

                                      sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                      We need more Dennys in the world.

                                      [–]THEJAZZMUSIC 24 points25 points ago

                                      sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                      Dennys sucks. Their pancakes taste like balls.

                                      [–]skond 10 points11 points ago

                                      sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                      I'll take your word for it.

                                      [–]SC2MASTER 1 point2 points ago*

                                      sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                      Moons over my hammie is quite good

                                      Edit: heres a pic for you Dennys haters http://blogs.seattleweekly.com/voracious/MOMH.jpg

                                      Try having that drunk as balls at 4:30am when no other restaurant is open and telling it sucks

                                      [–]epidose 1 point2 points ago

                                      sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                      Make eggs benedict, but with a pancake as the base its SRS BSNS

                                      [–]Internaut_Joe 1 point2 points ago

                                      sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                      Last time I went there they had a sign up advertising a bacon sundae. I wasn't sure how to feel about it.

                                      load more comments (5 replies)

                                        [–]donders 1 point2 points ago

                                        sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                        I was waiting for Mario to come in and jump on Denny

                                        [–]kcharette 1 point2 points ago

                                        sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                        Ahh yes, the samurai with a shikomizue, zatoichi.

                                        [–]caspissinclair 1 point2 points ago

                                        sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                        "Oh Hai Denny."

                                        [–]RiemannCauchy 1 point2 points ago

                                        sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                        Denny Crane?

                                        [–]jackmarathon 2 points3 points ago

                                        sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                        Denny Cane.

                                        [–]darkangelx 1 point2 points ago

                                        sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                        like a boss, then the cops showed up and arrested his ass. His world travels end and he is bitching about that guy as bubba anally violates him in county.

                                        [–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

                                        sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                        This sounds like the typical over-embellished geek type story.

                                        [–]namenumbers 1 point2 points ago

                                        sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                        Oh how I want this to be true.

                                        [–]lolzsupbrah 1 point2 points ago

                                        sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                        Its impossible for me to describe how much this has been reposted

                                        [–]spicymelons 1 point2 points ago

                                        sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                        My grandfather was in Vietnam. He doesn't talk about it very much. When someone pisses him off he drops the same line. "I've killed better men." The first time he said it I was like "Woah, he's finally snapped." I just like the look in peoples faces when he says that.

                                        [–]desquibnt 1 point2 points ago

                                        sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                        2009, dude. 2009.

                                        [–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

                                        sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                        Like Rutger Hauer

                                        [–]JETEXAS 1 point2 points ago

                                        sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                        Exactly! Except not blind, which makes Rutger Hauer tougher than this freeloading Denny bloke.

                                        load more comments (1 reply)

                                          [–]digitalchris 2 points3 points ago

                                          sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                          This fucking repost.

                                          [–]copeland3300 1 point2 points ago

                                          sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                          This didn't happen. Girls don't use 4chan.

                                          Unless the old man called a guy "Peach"...

                                          [–]RationalSocialist 0 points1 point ago

                                          sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                          There's girls on 4chan?

                                          [–]dennycane 0 points1 point ago

                                          sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                          I'm DENNY CANE!

                                          [–]jelkimantis 0 points1 point ago

                                          sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                          I wish I could up vote this more than once.

                                          [–]bigredgecko 0 points1 point ago

                                          sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                          LIKE A BOSS!

                                          [–]oblivious_human 0 points1 point ago

                                          sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                          Wasn't there a similar story in reddit few days back?

                                          [–]C4Aries 0 points1 point ago

                                          sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                          I used to work with a guy in his 70s on the railroad named Kenny. Real big and tough even at that age. One time ol' Kenny was at a super market behind a young guy probably in his twenty's. The cashier was an older lady, and the young guy disrespected somehow(don't remember the details.) Well Kenny took exception to that, and told the guy to apologize. Of course the young guy blew him off, so Kenny grabbed a can of corn and smashed the young guy over the head, knocking him out cold. He handed his cash(dude never went anywhere without like 10 grand on him) to the cashier for safe keeping and waited for the police.

                                          [–]Solomaxwell6 0 points1 point ago

                                          sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                          This reeks of fakery, but it was a fun story so I upvoted anyway.

                                          [–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

                                          sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                          We need pics of denny

                                          [–]seaquestions 0 points1 point ago

                                          sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                          For some reason I couldn't help reading the old man's part as the old pervert from Family Guy.

                                          [–]gthing 0 points1 point ago

                                          sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                          Always set your browser's width to maximum for maximum unreadability.

                                          [–]chilehead 0 points1 point ago

                                          sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                          ..they left out the part where the guy with the coffee called the cops, swat showed up and shot Denny in the head from the rooftop across the street for holding everyone in the coffee shop hostage with a sword.

                                          [–]JeffersonSteelflex 0 points1 point ago

                                          sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                          bomm chicka wa wow. Denny is most likely a globetrotting pimp, a jeweled cane with a sword to keep the bitches in line, "peaches" come on.

                                          [–]yojaykitt 0 points1 point ago

                                          sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                          Savage as fuck old man.

                                          [–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

                                          sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                          Holy Fucking god among men. I want to hear of his journeys.

                                          [–]onemorepost 0 points1 point ago

                                          sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                          Funny I have owned one of these canes. I usually carry it to coffee

                                          [–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

                                          sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                          Cool story, regardless of it being fake or not.

                                          [–]KayWho 0 points1 point ago

                                          sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                          Him and Epic Beard Man need to unite and form a league of extraordinary badass gentlemen.

                                          [–]2nd_class_citizen 0 points1 point ago

                                          sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                          Did anyone else read Denny's lines in Alfred's voice?

                                          [–]ShamAbram 0 points1 point ago

                                          sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                          You mean the one who keeps posting the same ridiculous 4Chan story of some pseudo-Bronson character doing justice? Yeah, that fucking guy should stop perpetuating this campfire story bullshit from a few years back and write his own meme.

                                          [–]SpraynardJKruger 0 points1 point ago

                                          sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                          Oh hi, Denny!

                                          [–]kinggsalas 0 points1 point ago

                                          sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                          me gusta

                                          [–]NuitBlanche 0 points1 point ago

                                          sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                          True or not, I love the story. Great writing too, thanks for sharing.

                                          [–]emptysuit221 0 points1 point ago

                                          sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                          GIVE. THIS. MAN. A. FUCKING. MEDAL.

                                          [–]idiotdidntdoit 0 points1 point ago

                                          sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                          i thought he was gonna say: You shall not pass.

                                          [–]magp13 0 points1 point ago

                                          sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                          cool story bro

                                          [–]Fricktitious 0 points1 point ago

                                          sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                          Oh this time he's a drug dealer.

                                          [–]if_it_moves_kiss_it 0 points1 point ago

                                          sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                          I wanna be that guy when i get old...

                                          [–]galo404 0 points1 point ago

                                          sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                          i dont always threaten violence on assholes...

                                          ...but when i do, its with my cane-sword

                                          [–]Whats_all_this_then 0 points1 point ago

                                          sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                          Human life reached the price of $1 that day.

                                          [–]ElToroFuerte 0 points1 point ago

                                          sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                          Damn. Freaking. Hell.

                                          [–]wonglik 0 points1 point ago

                                          sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                          Hmm I've read it somewhere before ... not sure where ...

                                          [–]Saturdays 0 points1 point ago

                                          sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                          Denny is my new fucking hero.

                                          [–]B-Rabbit 0 points1 point ago

                                          sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                          This again? Time for some OC.

                                          [–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

                                          sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                          Definitely made up. C'mon, a sword cane? I call bullshit.

                                          [–]shaunzi 0 points1 point ago

                                          sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                          SLAP SLAP

                                          [–]updownallaround 0 points1 point ago

                                          sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                          Hmm a girl... on 4chan, something doesn't add up here

                                          [–]Rusty_Shanks 0 points1 point ago

                                          sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                          This sounds like something I would do right down to the cane sword but I'm still 30. Guess that's why they call me what they call me...

                                          For those of you who think this could never happen, just go talk to a soldier/marine. I'm bettin you'll change your mind.

                                          [–]choikwa 0 points1 point ago

                                          sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                          Denny Crane

                                          [–]ubersoph 0 points1 point ago

                                          sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                          Sure Denny's name wasn't mario?

                                          [–]sheldonjp 0 points1 point ago

                                          sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                          Screenshot someone else's post from 4chan, post on Reddit, acquire karma.

                                          [–]Royd 0 points1 point ago

                                          sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                          "I saw this on Reddit this morning and it was too good not to share" - 2007

                                          [–]jman377355 0 points1 point ago

                                          sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                          That is so boss.

                                          [–]satellitebob 0 points1 point ago

                                          sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                          reminds me of penthouse forum... but the sword would have been a dildo and them peaches would get glazed.

                                          [–]jirohen 0 points1 point ago

                                          sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                          O.O zatoichi lives!

                                          [–]fam1ne 0 points1 point ago

                                          sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                          Back story, Denny paid the man $100 the day before to come in and be an asshole hoping he could get some action by looking like a hero.

                                          [–]Alexanderh86 0 points1 point ago

                                          sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                          For some reason I picture grandpa from The Boondocks as Denny.

                                          [–]fluxaxion 0 points1 point ago

                                          sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                          Awesome cakes are made of waffle cats.

                                          [–]longhornmd 0 points1 point ago

                                          sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                          The most interesting man in the world...

                                          If he punched you in the face, you would fight off the urge to thank him!

                                          [–]millionairecheese 0 points1 point ago

                                          sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                          a bagillioon gillion props

                                          [–]mgs42093 0 points1 point ago

                                          sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                          I've been stuck on reddit for a while now, while i should be up and being productive. I think ill just quit while im ahead and end on this one

                                          [–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

                                          sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                          Even if it's bullshit that's still a good story.

                                          load more comments (165 replies)

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