this post was submitted on
1,361 points (55% like it)
6,887 up votes 5,526 down votes
shortlink:

funny

subscribe2,715,563 readers

5,718 users here now

Results of the facebook poll

Reminder: Political posts are not permitted in /r/funny. Try /r/PoliticalHumor instead!

NEW! No gore or porn (including sexually graphic images). Other NSFW content must be tagged as such

Welcome to r/Funny:

You may only post if you are funny.

Please No:

  • posts with their sole purpose being to communicate with another redditor. Click for an Example.

  • Screenshots of reddit comment threads. Post a link with context to /r/bestof or /r/defaultgems if from a default subreddit instead.

  • Posts for the specific point of it being your reddit birthday.

  • Politics - This includes the 2012 Presidential candidates or bills in congress. Try /r/politicalhumor instead.

  • Rage comics - Go to /r/fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu instead.

  • Memes - Go to /r/AdviceAnimals or /r/Memes instead.

  • Demotivational posters - Go to /r/Demotivational instead.

  • Pictures of just text - Make a self post instead.

  • DAE posts - Go to /r/doesanybodyelse

  • eCards - the poll result was 55.02% in favor of removal. Please submit eCards to /r/ecards

  • URL shorteners - No link shorteners (or HugeURL) in either post links or comments. They will be deleted regardless of intent.

Rehosted webcomics will be removed. Please submit a link to the original comic's site and preferably an imgur link in the comments. Do not post a link to the comic image, it must be linked to the page of the comic. (*) (*)

Need more? Check out:

Still need more? See Reddit's best / worst and offensive joke collections (warning: some of those jokes are offensive / nsfw!).

Please DO NOT post personal information. This includes anything hosted on Facebook's servers, as they can be traced to the original account holder.

If your submission appears to be banned, please don't just delete it as that makes the filter hate you! Instead please send us a message with a link to the post. We'll unban it and it should get better. Please allow 10 minutes for the post to appear before messaging moderators

The moderators of /r/funny reserve the right to moderate posts and comments at their discretion, with regard to their perception of the suitability of said posts and comments for this subreddit. Thank you for your understanding.

CSS - BritishEnglishPolice ©2011

a community for
to anything interesting: news article, blog entry, video, picture...
message the moderators

MODERATORS

reddit is a source for what's new and popular online. vote on links that you like or dislike and help decide what's popular, or submit your own! learn more ›

1360
1361

ABS braking explained. (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by chilling_jawnt

all 78 comments
sorted by:
best
best
top
new
hot
controversial
old

[–]pebgc 98 points99 points ago

Theory vs. Practice

"In gravel, sand and deep snow, ABS tends to increase braking distances. On these surfaces, locked wheels dig in and stop the vehicle more quickly..." -Wikipedia

[–]ArbitraryIndigo 54 points55 points ago

Notice which dog has gone further. It agrees with that.

[–]Calvinball05 15 points16 points ago

Both of their leashes are taut. Neither of them are slowing down, they're just being dragged. The 'ABS' dog is closer to the water because its leash is slightly shorter.

[–]WildKittyv1 74 points75 points ago

Thanks for shitting all over our pretend physics model.

Shit was flawless until you came along.

[–]UhScot 12 points13 points ago

Fucking Calvin.

[–]gugulo 4 points5 points ago

Jesus, there's no respect on the internet.

[–]shortyjacobs 6 points7 points ago

Ahh, but since the ABS Off dog had greater braking force, it pulled the leash a bit out of the owner's hand, thus making its leash longer and increasing its distance from the owner.

[–]TaxExempt -1 points0 points ago

I bet one dog is offering more resistance than the other.

[–]ladiesman_217 -5 points-4 points ago

In fact, one could assume that, since applying the brakes they actually sped up

[–]srtDiesel 36 points37 points ago

ABS doesn't make you stop faster at all on nearly every surface, it just lets you maintain control. A skidding locked up tire does not do much good when it comes to cornering, being as at that point its just a patch of rubber being dragged across the ground. By allowing the tire to roll, even for brief moments, astronomically increases the turning ability of a vehicle during an emergency stop.

TLDR- If you want to stop as fast as possible lock those fuckers up.

[–]chadcf 65 points66 points ago

That is incorrect.

Well your first part is correct, ABS is indeed designed to let you remain in control more so than to stop faster. However you should absolutely not lock your brakes up to stop as quickly as possible. The rolling grip of a tire is much higher than the sliding coefficient of friction. Maximum braking force occurs with a very very slight slippage of the wheel relative to the road surface. Once the tire is fully locked up your stopping ability decreases quite rapidly.

[–]srtDiesel 8 points9 points ago

I should have made more clarification to loose surfaces.

[–]daxattacks 3 points4 points ago

Not really, that sounds great on paper but in real life, very few people are proficient at threshold braking, and with every car coming with ABS now, it's becoming a lost art. A driver instructor will tell you to lock the brakes, release to steer and then lock again. You aren't good enough to do better than that 20% loss of friction.

[–]Brak710 2 points3 points ago

When locking and releasing, return of rotation does not happen as quickly as you'd want it to, especially if the vehicle isn't sliding straight.

Rotation may never return in a reasonable time on a surface the tire is slipping on. Ice and snow especially.

[–]thebest99 1 point2 points ago

i just point my steering wheel and gun it.....

But then again I do drive a subaru.

[–]DumbPeopleSay 1 point2 points ago

That's what I learned to do on my stick shift 88 Golf. Driving a 91 Nissan p/u now, and still no ABS. It has never really been a problem.

[–]Natelton 0 points1 point ago

I drive an 01 ranger and recently had my abs removed (not by choice) for after market spindles. I stop much faster if I slam on my brakes but, I start to go askew even when traveling straight. It could be my alignment though. It's pretty fucked up. Shit, I'm too drunk to drive anyways.

[–]ApexIsGangster 2 points3 points ago

yep, pretty sure optimal skidding/launching is at around 8-12% slip.

[–]krqmjw 1 point2 points ago

Its about 20% slip.

[–]Troutt025 11 points12 points ago

Just the tip

[–]srtDiesel 1 point2 points ago

just for a second.

[–]Teneniel 0 points1 point ago

You are correct. Physics-wise, the coefficient of static friction is typically greater than the coefficient of kinetic friction for two given materials (such as rubber and asphalt). So, it takes longer to accelerate in the negative direction to a full stop when the wheels are skidding (kinetic friction) than it does if the wheels are in static contact with the asphalt.

[–]lorefolk 4 points5 points ago

except when it's hydroplaning and you lose friction and contact.

[–]mike_sol 4 points5 points ago

For sure. I was driving my wife's car recently and had to slam on the brakes. Forgot what it was like to do that in a non ABS car and was lucky to not rear end someone (who had suddenly and without reason or warning slammed on their brakes in front of me, thank fuck I don't tailgate).

Next time I'll hopefully remember to threshold brake and to pump them at their limits, but it's hard to remember that when you have a few microseconds to act!

[–]AsperaAstra 2 points3 points ago

As someone who was in a car accident a week and a half ago where I was rear ended while stopped and she was going 50 and nearly killed my two sisters, my mom, my nephew and I, I thank you for being a responsible driver.

[–]mike_sol 1 point2 points ago

Nearly killed by a rear-ender, that's more than just negligence unless you drive a particularly unsafe car.

[–]Ididerus 1 point2 points ago

this is why we have ABS, it takes a fair amount of training to effectively modulate breaks, and most people wait until the moment of impact to learn. Even with prior practice, reacting in a manner opposite of human-nature (grip and hold on!) takes even more training.

[–]mike_sol 0 points1 point ago

Right. My car has excellent brakes (huge discs, ABS, traction control, etc) and my wife's car is pretty basic (disc with rear drums, no abs) and it's a world of difference.

[–]sdub 1 point2 points ago

After being rear ended once after having to stop short, I am always looking in my mirror when in this situation.

[–]orionsbelts 3 points4 points ago

Actually as soon as you start locking up your tires you are getting about 20% less braking force as Static friction is stronger than kinetic friction.

[–]mrbaggins 2 points3 points ago

TLDR- If you want to stop as fast as possible lock those fuckers up.

On loose surfaces.

A controlled stop by someone who is able flirt around locking up entirely will out-brake the locked up wheels every time.

[–]terroristteddy 0 points1 point ago

That theory only holds water assuming that you have maximum grip. In short it's a racing theory, in real world situations on tires with less aggressive tread abs shortens stopping distances compared to unassisted braking or threshold braking.

[–]cicohipe 1 point2 points ago

ABS compensates for bad driving technique, particularly in poor weather. For your average driver it will decrease stopping distances but for professional drivers its a hindrance. You won't see abs on a race car.

[–]daxattacks 4 points5 points ago

You will but it won't be the shitty intrusive ABS you get on a street car.

[–]Joey333 3 points4 points ago

You're right about the first bit not so much about the last bit. You do see abs on many racing cars/series around the world and you would definitely see it in F1 if it were not banned.

[–]larsbrunsvold 1 point2 points ago

ABS isn't supposed to make you stop sooner. It makes you stop safer. If you break traction you lose the ability to steer. ABS makes it so your tires don't slide, giving you the ability to steer around what ever obstacle is in front of you.

[–]teeelo 0 points1 point ago

If I have Learned anything from Canada's worst driver, is that most people look at what they are about to crash into and promptly drive into it Instead of avoiding it altogether

[–]JshWthrs5 0 points1 point ago

sorry.

[–]MiniDonbeE 0 points1 point ago

The whole point to abs is that you still have control over your car, it definately breaks less but you have more control over your car, which means you can slow down by dropping gears, or you can actually make turns without killing yourself. ABS is a lot better than no ABS. Control over your car > break distance. Control over your car means you can actually do something about it.

[–]Stankia 1 point2 points ago

The whole idea behind ABS isn't to decrease braking distance, the idea is to maintain control over the steering while braking hard.

[–]koobgnos 8 points9 points ago

Anti-lock braking system braking explained

[–]captain150 1 point2 points ago

Automated teller machine machine.

[–]Cynikal818 30 points31 points ago

welcome to the internet

[–]yentlequible 4 points5 points ago

I feel like this is something that I should have seen by now.

[–]wipeout4wh 5 points6 points ago

It was on the front page today I think.

[–]martiniman 5 points6 points ago

And will be again next week.

[–]ImRemko 8 points9 points ago

ABS off seems to do better!

[–]snitchelgroovin 9 points10 points ago

Actual ABS Explained in a 52 second youtube video.

Edit - Not funny

[–]goshfyde 7 points8 points ago

This just explains what abs do, not how they work.

[–]snitchelgroovin 10 points11 points ago

Okay. Heres a simple 47 second video breakdown on how ABS works

[–]goshfyde 7 points8 points ago

Very cool now we have both! Thanks.

[–]vivinp 35 points36 points ago

Anyone seeking more info might also check here:

title comnts points age /r/
ABS braking Explained. 0coms 9pts 1mo funny
ABS braking Explained. 243coms 1513pts 5mos funny
anti-lock brakes 1com 36pts 8mos funny
ABS 629coms 1904pts 11mos funny
ABS: ON vs. OFF 0coms 1pt 1mo funny

source: karmadecay

[–]Pink-Flying-Pie 11 points12 points ago

Went to OC up voted and down voted all the other posts. Are you glad now?

[–]LOTR_Hobbit -4 points-3 points ago

And therefore, OP is a faggot.

[–]WackyWarrior 2 points3 points ago

I wasn't aware dogs had abs.

[–]Dudeiszack 2 points3 points ago

R/forwardsfromgrandma

[–]Sleep45 3 points4 points ago

You are a reposting person that I consider below me.

[–]RzK 0 points1 point ago

First time ABS kicked in it scared the shit out of me

[–]redgamut 0 points1 point ago

Now let's see what happens when you're driving with the "other guy's" break pads.

[–]JRSTIN 1 point2 points ago

Threshold braking. That is what I was taught.

[–]TheTvsLeaking 0 points1 point ago

They both ended in the same spot.

[–]sdkone 0 points1 point ago

still end up in water(almost).

[–]Legitsu 1 point2 points ago

This actually did inform me...

[–]GloriousMatt 0 points1 point ago

Antilock = Antistop

[–]SeniorClutch 1 point2 points ago

Glad you know how to repost. OP is my buddy http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/n1zn3/abs/

[–]JesterAzazel 0 points1 point ago

It was 11 months ago.

[–]meat_out 0 points1 point ago

animal cruelty explained

[–]wheels_go_round 1 point2 points ago

This has been posted so many different times on so many different websites including this one. Shame.

[–]KICKERMAN360 0 points1 point ago

*If you slam on the brakes.

[–]lilwhiz165 0 points1 point ago

seriously who hasnt seen this before..

[–]MaverickTTT 1 point2 points ago

Any chance someone could re-tool this to say "anti-skid" instead of ABS?

[–]HowNegativeCanIGet 2 points3 points ago

ABS is the actual abbreviation for Anti Lock Braking Systems.

They prevent your wheels from locking up by pumping the brake for you, much faster than a normal human could.

[–]MaverickTTT 1 point2 points ago

Sorry, I should have been more clear as to my intentions. In aviation, we call ABS "anti-skid". I was thinking it would be funnier to send my aviation geek co-workers something like this if it used our particular jargon.

[–]Paljoey 0 points1 point ago

I read this as: "Ass braking explained."

Which would make sense because Ass braking system = ABS...

[–]mac7777 -1 points0 points ago

My friend "what does ABS stand for?" Me "....anal breaking system?"

[–]mcjustice12 -3 points-2 points ago

Don't forget to pump the brakes

Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our User Agreement and Privacy Policy. © 2012 reddit inc. All rights reserved.

REDDIT and the ALIEN Logo are registered trademarks of reddit inc.

π Rendered by PID 1121 on app-77 running 6d5566f.