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top 200 commentsshow all 222

[–]jamesf797 740 points741 points ago

This was better when I got it as an email back in 1997

[–]down_vote_magnet 66 points67 points ago

What makes it worse for me is that it has been "updated" with the modern and hip title of "Trolling cops".

Trolling.

This is not trolling.

[–]Bucky_Ohare 81 points82 points ago

I preferred the Geocities version.

[–]BaDumPshhh 6 points7 points ago

Pretty sure I still have this posted on my hometown:

http://members.aol.com/badumpshhh

[–]down_vote_magnet 16 points17 points ago

You actually think I still have an AOL login?

[–]Willyjwade 8 points9 points ago

Well shit, screen cap that bitch for the rest of us that moved on with technology and forgot AOL existed.

[–]KNessJM 5 points6 points ago

Redirects to "AOL Lifestream". Sounds like a site for women going through menopause.

[–]Dcoil1 51 points52 points ago

FWD:FWD:FWD:FWD:SO TRUE!!!FWD:FWD:FWD:FUNNIEST THINGS EVER MUST READ!!!

[–]cheekytriangle 20 points21 points ago

Yeah I'm pretty sure this is excerpted from Genesis or Exodus

[–]wrath505 0 points1 point ago

Wasn't the original titled " trolling velociraptors"?

[–]omgsus 63 points64 points ago

And left the bestest version out...


A driver is pulled over by a policeman. The police man approaches the driver's door.

"Is there a problem Officer?"

The policeman says, "Sir, you were speeding. Can I see your license please?"

The driver responds, "I'd give it to you but I don't have one."

"You don't have one?"

The man responds, "I lost it four times for drink driving."

The policeman is shocked. "I see. Can I see your vehicle registration papers please?"

"I'm sorry, I can't do that."

The policeman says, "Why not?"

"I stole this car."

The officer says, "Stole it?"

The man says, "Yes, and I killed the owner."

At this point the officer is getting irate. "You what!?"

"She's in the boot if you want to see."

The Officer looks at the man and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes, five police cars show up, surrounding the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

The senior officer says "Sir, could you step out of your vehicle please!"

The man steps out of his vehicle. "Is there a problem sir?"

"One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner."

"Murdered the owner?"

The officer responds, "Yes, could you please open the boot of your car please?"

The man opens the boot, revealing nothing but an empty boot.

The officer says, "Is this your car sir?"

The man says "Yes," and hands over the registration papers.

The officer, understandably, is quite stunned. "One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving licence."

The man digs in his pocket revealing a wallet and hands it to the officer. The officer opens the wallet and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled. "Thank you sir, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, stole this car, and murdered the owner."

The man replies, "I bet you the lying bastard told you I was speeding, too!"

[–]ShadowAssassinQueef 9 points10 points ago

That's an okay one but you can be put in prison for this.

http://www.missingkids.com/en_US/documents/FalseReporting.pdf

[–]Asterisk007 2 points3 points ago

I think hes from the UK, hence "boot". any laws in uk against false reporting?

[–]freex3 2 points3 points ago

where are you from? i'm assuming a boot is a trunk but i've never heard it called that.

[–]Primar 3 points4 points ago

It's usually called a boot in the UK.

Hence car-boot sales.

[–]omgsus 0 points1 point ago

I'm in the US but I'm lazy so it looks like I hit some UK Copy pasta.... the version I tell is of an old lady and yes... the boot is the trunk.

[–]darkscout 0 points1 point ago

Same with drink driving. Was a dead give away.

[–]freex3 0 points1 point ago

I noticed that but I assumed it was just a translation error.

[–]somepromethean 6 points7 points ago

Don't you hate it when you laugh at something then you go to the comments section and the top comment makes you think that you're lame for laughing at that? Yeah. Me too.

[–]NoNeedForAName 14 points15 points ago

Thanks, Grandma!

[–]dksprocket 6 points7 points ago

[–]Bike-o-king 2 points3 points ago

FWD: THOUGHT YOU'D ENJOY THIS LOVE GRANDMA FWD: FWD: FWD

[–]illmatic707 1 point2 points ago

1997 was a good year for emails.

[–]wiebeezy 176 points177 points ago

...aaannddd none of this ever happened.

[–]SureSignOfAGoodRhyme 49 points50 points ago

"I bet you're going to sell me a ticket to the State Tr.." "Step out of the vehicle please, do you have any drugs or weapons in your vehicle? Why don't you go sit on the curb over there"

[–]Robert_Cannelin 8 points9 points ago

"Mind if I search your car?"

[–]Kanilas 4 points5 points ago

No Officer, I do not consent to any searches of my property.

[–]fswmacguy 3 points4 points ago

Just for the sake of clarification:

With probable cause, a LEO can search your vehicle; It doesn't matter whether or not you 'consent' since your vehicle (and you) are on public property.

tl;dr Don't go 20MPH+ over the limit in a car that smells like weed.

[–]Darkfriend337 3 points4 points ago

That's actually not accurate, although its true. It misrepresents what probable cause is. They can't just say "probable cause" and search. They have to have some reason. "a reasonable amount of suspicion, supported by circumstances sufficiently strong to justify a prudent and cautious person's belief that certain facts are probably true".

[–]RobotBoogie 4 points5 points ago

STOP RESISTING!!!

[–]NimX3 -1 points0 points ago

[–]fromman003 0 points1 point ago

I didnt pass the bar, but I know a little bit... enough that you wont illegally search my shit

[–]ShadowAssassinQueef -5 points-4 points ago

they don't ask to search vehicles.

[–]MuuaadDib 9 points10 points ago

Hahaaahaaa......I know.

Same stupid folksy sappy writing style....fucking hate it the pathological liars feel good outlet.

[–]Obsolite_Processor 3 points4 points ago

So it's like Reddit for old people? Only with better writing?

[–]JohnAbruzzi 0 points1 point ago

Of course it did. This is the internet. It has a $5 trillion lie and porn filter.

[–]lochlainn 1 point2 points ago

Could you imagine the chaos if people could just lie on the internet?!?

[–]JohnAbruzzi 0 points1 point ago

I tried but I just can't imagine what it would be like.

[–]thatolemountainman 1 point2 points ago

The last one was a scene from psych

[–]OPsEvilTwin_S_ -2 points-1 points ago

The second one DID happen in my hometown.

But I don't live in Oregon.

[–]Dyolf_Knip -2 points-1 points ago

Well, the "speed trap warning" thing sorta did. Except the cops responded with their usual professionalism and arrested the person doing the warning. Denying cops their ticket money is a crime, after all.

http://abcnews.go.com/US/speed-trap-sign-lands-texas-woman-jail/story?id=16670386#.UG_KymLLLPY

[–]Ghost4000 2 points3 points ago

Proof?

[–]Ghost4000 0 points1 point ago

Hm very interesting. Why did she not fight the charges? It seems like this is something to bring to court. Thank you for the link.

[–]ShamefulHonesty 0 points1 point ago

I can believe the second one maybe

[–]TheThingToSay 5 points6 points ago

I could believe the first one too...though the kids would have probably had their parents called, or gotten tickets for "obstructing justice" or some other bullshit like that if they were adults.

[–]downcat 3 points4 points ago

Would they be obstructing justice? I imagine it could be EASILY argued that they were acting in a manner similar to a "Speed Checked By Radar" sign. Hell, I'll bet they did more for public safety than the cop did!

[–]ocellot9119 1 point2 points ago

"Reality" and "laws" don't always stop police officers from doing things.

[–]downcat 0 points1 point ago

True; I imagine I'd be damn proud if my future child came up with this idea. As an adult, I would argue the ticket and win. Cop loses either way.

[–]Intrepid00 0 points1 point ago

The 1st one did but not exactly the way stated and I don't think it was a kid either.

The 2nd one was real too and happened pretty much as stated when speed cameras started rolling out.

The 3rd is a retarded old joke.

[–]Campin 82 points83 points ago

I remember seeing this when I had AOL with 500 free hours!

[–]skyraider17 19 points20 points ago

Guess somebody didn't have the platinum premier version

[–]shanahanigans 19 points20 points ago

So you get 1000 hours free that expires after 45 days?

... (calculating) ...

You'd have to spend 22 hours and 12 minutes out of each of the 45 days on the internet.

[–]baberg 13 points14 points ago

Challenge accepted.

[–]shanahanigans 6 points7 points ago

But to replicate the experiment, you have to stay off reddit for all 1000 of those internet hours. This was the '90s, after all.

[–]baberg 3 points4 points ago

As long as I've got Geocities, I'm good.

/s

[–]Erock2 2 points3 points ago

You also have to have dial-up... shudders

[–]Blame_The_Green 0 points1 point ago

Yep, and it was good times too.

[–]Grandpa_Edd 0 points1 point ago

Did reddit exist back then cause if it did I would be up to the challenge.

[–]seven2eight 1 point2 points ago

1000 hours with your home phone line busy.

[–]Ghost4000 0 points1 point ago

I spend every waking hour on the internet, not counting the 10 minutes it takes to drive to work.

[–]solrsb 241 points242 points ago

r/forwardsfromgrandma

[–]AtomikRadio 79 points80 points ago

/r/forwardsfromgrandma

The first / makes all the difference for the lazy!

[–]shitworms 9 points10 points ago

Oh god it's real? Yesssssssssss!

[–]davesfakeaccount 3 points4 points ago

And it was so much fun to read a poor quality picture of text. Thanks!

[–]Nicknam4 97 points98 points ago

FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD:

[–]bcarle 6 points7 points ago

Needs more RE: no subject.

[–]SenorSpicyBeans 68 points69 points ago

WHY DO YOU MOTHER FUCKERS KEEP UPVOTING THIS SHIT GOD FUCKING DAMMIT

[–]chimney3 3 points4 points ago

I will vote for whichever presidential candidate promises to stop reposts.

[–]KingOCarrotFlowers 0 points1 point ago

Heh. Heh heh.

You see, it's funny, because the president doesn't have the power to stop reposts.

[–]dexterduck 23 points24 points ago

Seriously, this is the kind of shit that people on facebook share from a page titled "FUNNY STUFF."

[–]NoNeedForAName 3 points4 points ago

More likely it's titled "Funny stuf." Even more likely: "O my god this is halareus!" I've never seen one of those that uses proper grammar or spelling.

[–]Gargamele 0 points1 point ago

What do you think /r/funny is?

[–]Smilax 10 points11 points ago

RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: FUNNYSHITFROMDAD

[–]endlessmilk 40 points41 points ago

Today on "Shit that never fucking happened!"

[–]NoNeedForAName 7 points8 points ago

I think the one about mailing a picture of money and the police mailing back a picture of handcuffs has been confirmed. Luckily, everyone involved got the joke.

Ninja Edit: Found it on Snopes.

[–]Erock2 1 point2 points ago

Not only did you provide a link. You had a ninja edit. Sir you are a winner!

[–]endlessmilk 1 point2 points ago

well fuck my ass.

[–]NoNeedForAName 1 point2 points ago

No, thanks. I support your lifestyle choices, but I'm just personally not into that kind of thing.

[–]I_smell_awesome 51 points52 points ago

Anyone seeking more info might also check here:

title comnts points age /r/
good, better, the best. 9coms 124pts 3dys funny
Good Better Best 7coms 66pts 7dys funny
I really want to do all of these... 3coms 81pts 2mos funny
Good, Better, Best 8coms 72pts 3mos funny

source: karmadecay

[–]lols 8 points9 points ago

This submission got 800 points. I think reddit is decaying.

[–]FledglingZombie 7 points8 points ago

FWD: RE: RE: RE: FWD: RE: FWD: FWD: FWD: REALLY FUNNY!!!!

[–]JaggerA 5 points6 points ago

Oh look, another example of the world troll being misused. OP, go to hell.

[–]wecametofight 17 points18 points ago

My nana joined reddit?

[–]byRoody 4 points5 points ago

Why do I feel like this belongs on 9gag

[–]TangoBuns 6 points7 points ago

You're the reason Reddit has to keep up with their spam filters.

[–]nerocaesar 3 points4 points ago

aaaaand collection of reposts

[–]SmoresPies 9 points10 points ago

You have really put me in a tight place here OP. I was having this great day, the best I'll add. Then I come across this post, this re-post and immediately my blood began to boil. In a fit of blind rage, I went down to my local wal-mart, a SUPER WAL-MART, shit just got real huh? Yeah, so I bought all these poisonous chemicals, and grenades, I picked up a small child too. And now the police are after me, they THINK this is all my fault. So, I got this grenade pin between my teeth, dangerous chemicals in one hand, the kid in the other, ALL BECAUSE YOU COULDN"T BE CREATIVE- DO YOU SEE WHAT YOU HAVE DONE!? turn yourself in already, delete this post. Or, we all lose.

[–]IPostInWrongReddits 0 points1 point ago

UGGHgadjsbgadhjbgjsga, ive seen that last joke a million times

[–]seminolecichlid 2 points3 points ago

this must be the original repost

[–]Just_for_shits 2 points3 points ago

If this were real a speeding ticket would be $240. Not $40.

[–]SpelingTroll 0 points1 point ago

FUCK THIS SHIT READ THE RULES SHIT FUCK.

FUCK.

SHIT.

[–]DirtyDrummer 10 points11 points ago

Supposedly all Oregon cops. Yet the picture has Cali plates...

[–]abagofdicks 14 points15 points ago

You're right. There is noooo way someone from California would drive to Oregon. Wayyy to far.

[–]Erock2 1 point2 points ago

Not with gas prices this high.

[–]stringerbell 6 points7 points ago

No, this is how you troll cops...

At night, when you see a cop drive towards you and you are walking down the sidewalk, stare at him intently as he passes. Look suspicious or guilty of something. Just after the car passes beside you, sprint off in the other direction as fast as you can.

In my experience, 100% of the time the cop-car will pull a u-turn and race off after you. Then you get to play a man's version of hide-and-seek for half an hour.

[–]Robert_Cannelin 0 points1 point ago

100% of how many attempts?

[–]scarletwonderlust 1 point2 points ago

You don't have to pay those camera tickets, they can't arrest you for them.

[–]TexasTango 0 points1 point ago

You get points on your license which fucks up your insurance and yes you do have to pay them.

[–]MrE134 0 points1 point ago

As a guy about to go practice driving in the hopes of getting my license in Oregon soon, I think I'm going to speed on purpose so I can get funny stories from the '90s. Wait, it's too late... FUCK.

[–]krymz1n 0 points1 point ago

MFW someone posts about where I live

[–]ConfusedAlways 0 points1 point ago

I wish I had a sense of humor like the lady. Where do I go to school for that??

[–]FiveSmash 0 points1 point ago

Obligatory "Nothing has ever not happened more than these things didn't happen."

[–]ReactsWithWords 1 point2 points ago

THREE! Three urban legends! Bwa-ha-ha!

[–]bailooutsandbananas 0 points1 point ago

Yep, that sounds like my hometown.

[–]narpas 1 point2 points ago

Rather than labeling the stories "Good", "Better" and "Best", I propose, "Ancient", "Prehistoric", and "Jesus I think I read that last one in Reader's Digest when I was, like, five and in the doctor's office."

[–]Zazilium 0 points1 point ago

I'll take "500$ for stuff my grandma fwds: me", Rick.

[–]murderbum999 1 point2 points ago

Get off the internet, grandma.

[–]fafol 1 point2 points ago

NOTHING ABOUT THIS IS TROLLING

[–]norseburrito -1 points0 points ago

I guess oregon is the place to speed.

[–]twenty-four 0 points1 point ago

Where's that?

[–]hazelpony2 0 points1 point ago

To:KittyMeowfuck@gmail.com From: Grandma FW: FW: RE: FW: FW: RE: FW: FW: VERY FUNNY STORIES FROM REAL POLICE OFFICERS

[–]Twaddles 1 point2 points ago

I remember the "Balls" joke from an old 80's movie with Kris Kristofferson - Flashpoint. We're the Border Patrol ma'am we don't have any balls.

[–]Kar98_Byf42 0 points1 point ago

Bestest: remove the model name plates from the back of your car, and when the cop enters "none", his little handheld ticket printing computer will crash.

[–]someguy73 0 points1 point ago

Thanks for the forward, Grandma.

[–]ThereReallyIsNoHope 0 points1 point ago

Granny get off Reddit, goddamn girl. Can't take you anywhere.

[–]libraryaddict 0 points1 point ago

3 reposts for the price of 1! What a deal!

[–]Raymond890 0 points1 point ago

I'm moving to Oregon now.

[–]Wildstylezz 1 point2 points ago

This has nothing to do with fucking trolling. My god . Let me guess this must be an EPIC TROLL LOL PONIES N STICKERZ. Fuck sakes. 10yo repost.

[–]Ass_Dragon 0 points1 point ago

lol epic troll XD to funny

[–]freakygeeky 0 points1 point ago

Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Trolling cops

[–]FA-Q 1 point2 points ago

Protip, don't speed in Oregon. Fucking HP everywhere.

[–]bow_before_dog 0 points1 point ago

GOOD -so says a story my uncle used to tell BETTER -said my drunk friend who made the girl at the bar move to another seat BEST -said the lady that didn't want to admit she was arrested for a DUI that night

[–]heartlessnobody94 0 points1 point ago

repost...

[–]LtPineapple 1 point2 points ago

Literally, taken directly from a Psych episode.

[–]LolerCoaster 0 points1 point ago

This may have been the very first joke email I ever got, on my very first email account, circa 1996.

[–]novihockey95 0 points1 point ago

http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/w2c0z/good_better_best/

God damnit. Why when I post something I never get karma, but reposts do?

[–]frofrodajimmyboy 0 points1 point ago

Oh hey mom, you found Reddit!

[–]TerrorByte 0 points1 point ago

The fact that this is being upvoted more than it is being downvoted speaks volumes about the new Reddit demographic...

[–]Lignoba 0 points1 point ago

I got a speeding ticket just east of Portland going 70 in a 55... $500. Fuck Oregon.

[–]mindaika 0 points1 point ago

I also have a fondness for 1987-era printouts of jokes updated to the modern era by adding a color picture.

[–]erwin54 0 points1 point ago

I personally think the good is better than the better, and the better is not as good as the good.

[–]SydneyRubbert 0 points1 point ago

Fake and all, but YAY OREGON!! :D

[–]adrenaline_rush 0 points1 point ago

How this got 6k upvotes?

[–]just_defy 0 points1 point ago

came here to laugh not read

[–]ApocalypticTaco 0 points1 point ago

Repost :(

[–]JoePurdy 0 points1 point ago

Oh look, a list of things that never happened, how fun!

[–]shadowjeffknowsbest 0 points1 point ago

These aren't trolling cops, these are awesome cops

[–]singher23 0 points1 point ago

The first one was in Uncle John's Bathroom Reader

[–]assesasinassassin 0 points1 point ago

This is so cheesy, 90's crap your mom would forward to you. Cringeworthy to say the least.

[–]rarkai 0 points1 point ago

I don't even have to zoom in and read this to see which colossal bullshit email forward this is.

[–]deathfromfront 0 points1 point ago

Repost. I found and saved this the first day I made my Reddit account.

[–]stealthismatt 0 points1 point ago

this is humorous. it belongs in /r/humor

why?

because it's not /r/funny

[–]inventionmaker99 0 points1 point ago

Funny, but repost

[–]StarshinexWherexRxUx 0 points1 point ago

Being from Oregon myself, I approve this post :)

[–]yaosio 0 points1 point ago

OMG I'm going to send this to my son, I'm a 50 year old woman BTW.

[–]chattyWw 0 points1 point ago

Where I'm from the police needs to have signs that says speed radar ahead or something like that.

[–]shabio1 0 points1 point ago

I laughed so damn hard at the end

[–]Hypothosaurus 0 points1 point ago

i'm using that last one.

[–]Buhnanah 0 points1 point ago

I dont understand the last one.

[–]NoobComputer 0 points1 point ago

Just goes to show you that we Bendites (people from Bend, OR) are smarter than your average bear.

[–]craftkiller -1 points0 points ago

Better trolling cops: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BwDlobymMk0

Few people understand the psychology of dealing with a highway traffic cop

[–]pollacs 1 point2 points ago

The twist: All three drivers were named Albert Einstein.

[–]gordomono 1 point2 points ago

OREGON!

[–]MistarGrimm -3 points-2 points ago

The third, no matter how old or fake, is a good joke.

[–]Avarax 0 points1 point ago

I LOVE OREGON

[–]ltbs 0 points1 point ago

STDH.jpg

[–]filterplz 0 points1 point ago

Epilogue/rollover text. The lady got a picture of the cops balls in the mail.

[–]iagainsti -1 points0 points ago

The funniest part is that this never happened.

Wait, that's not funny either...

[–]Ev00 1 point2 points ago

Neither was either of our posts.

[–]folderol -1 points0 points ago

There was a guy on here a couple weeks ago that claimed he and his friend were doing this. Like I hadn't heard this long ago. I called bullshit and downvoted him. I got downvoted. Oh well, whatever.

[–]HoldmysunnyD 1 point2 points ago

1: Obstruction of justice.

[–]swishd 1 point2 points ago

All from Oregon. I love living here.

[–]scifiwoman -3 points-2 points ago

This is great.

[–]cjlonghorn25 -2 points-1 points ago

this is a joke from the tv show psych. but it prolly predates that.